20-Neerottam
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https://www.rasikas.org/forums/viewtopic.php?p=204579#p204579
by arasi »
TWENTY
nIrOTTam
(The Flow)
Dr. Ambeau had said that my health would improve if I walked for an hour every day. I followed his instructions. My mother looked after the baby, and I went to the beach for a walk every morning. This went on for a month. My father and sister kept me company.
One day at the crack of dawn, as we were walking, we heard someone sing in a morning rAgA. It melted my heart. When I listened intently, it sounded like a tiruvAimozhi verse. On my listening for a minute more, it sounded clear as a bell and sounded like a familiar voice--that of Bharathi. I asked my father what he thought.
My father said, ''Let's find him."
We walked in the direction from which the voice came. We saw Bharathi, seated on a kaTTumaram (boat). He was wearing a black top and a vEshTi. He was facing the sun with joined hands. It wasn't light yet. The song sounded majestic. The beautiful rAgam and the meaning of the words gave me goose bumps. It seemed like a divine vision. I was filled with joy.
Sri Sri: Bharathi, what are you doing here?
Bharathi: Is that Anna? Why are you and the children here so early in the morning?
Sri Sri: The doctor said that it was good for Yadugiri's health to walk for an hour every morning. Yadugiri thought she heard your voice and when we came closer, we realized that it was you, after all!
Bharathi: I came here last night. I was flying in the world of my imagination. I woke up and realized that I was on the beach. Such a pleasant hour, this. I was lost in the inspiring verses of the tiruvAimozhi, and you called!
Sri Sri (in a rather irritated voice): Some world of imagination! Do you realize how worried they'd be at home! Is it fair? What are you doing here at this hour?
Bharathi: (with his head bent): It was unbearably hot last night. The beach and the world of imagination were beckoning. Did Chellamma come to your house and ask about me? Am I a child?
My father got Bharathi down from the boat, and like a dear brother would, put his arms around him in a hug. He told me and my sister to keep walking and said that he would soon join us. He started talking to Bharathi in English. Bharathi did not answer but tears fell freely from his eyes. I can never forget that scene. We walked to Bharathi's house now. Chellamma was standing at the door. Thangamma and Sakunthala were asleep. Chellamma did not ask Bharathi where he had been. Seeing my father, with her head down, she went into the house. I woke the children up and then we went home.
My sister Ranganayaki questioned my father: Why did Bharathi cry like that? The tears wouldn't stop!
Sri Sri: Perhaps some sand got into his eyes.
Yadugiri: Bharathi wasn't home all night and yet Chellamma didn't say a word! Why?
Sri Sri: No, I don't think it's something new. Who knows where all he roams at night? The beach, the groves, by the pond...
Yadugiri: AiyyA! He doesn't look the same. I've been observing him ever since I came to Puduvai. Things seem so different when I go to see them now.
Sri Sri: Please don't ask Bharathi or Chellamma about it. It may upset them.
Iyer came home that evening and I told him about the incident at the beach.
Iyer: Did Bharathi recognize your father as soon as he called him?
Yadugiri: Yes, he did and he was surprised to see us so early in the morning. I don't know what's ailing him. AiyyA didn't say much. It's all puzzling to me. Chellamma looks grief-stricken. At least, you can tell me what this is all about.
Iyer: Yadugiri, when something new captures his imagination, Bharathi doesn't stop to think if it's right for him or not. I have appealed to him many times. He just keeps going. I don't know where it's all going to lead him.Trouble at home, too. A woman in our country can somehow manage to cope with problems when it's about children and others at home, but not with a husband. I don't think there is an easy solution for the problems. If a husband behaves justly and adheres to his duties, there won't be any trouble at all. If he doesn't, there will be no cheer--just tears and upheavals. Their home becomes a prison. The woman cannot give up her children--nor can she leave her husband. Troubles multiply and the husband, forgetting the problems at hand and forgetting even his own stature and his greatness, finds solace in hallucinating substances--just for those fleeting moments of pleasure--and starts living in an ivory tower. As the effect of the stimulant wears away, he is spent as a rag and his health deteriorates. If you stop a stupid man from going to the liquor shop, he would get annoyed with you and say, 'who are you to stop me? I'm drinking, spending my own money'. Yet, It's possible to restrain that fool for a while. It's impossible to do that with an enlightened man who is weak and is weak-willed. The one who tries to stop him ends up being the fool. We are all helpless. All that we can do is rue over it.
Yadugiri: The udaya (dawn) rAgam which he sang was divine.
Iyer: Bharathi's voice sounds like bell metal. Early morning, the birds singing, the sound of the waves and his majestic singing! I can imagine how it would have felt.
His association with a few sAmiArs and paNDArams is leading him to all this. A man who has control over his mind is a strong man. The one who follows the manakkurangu (a mind like that of a monkey) goes any which way, doing things as that quirky mind of his dictates. It isn't a good thing for him, and surely, not for his family!
Iyer sighed. His heart was heavy. What he said agitated me. I felt very sad.
* * * * *
(The Flow)
Dr. Ambeau had said that my health would improve if I walked for an hour every day. I followed his instructions. My mother looked after the baby, and I went to the beach for a walk every morning. This went on for a month. My father and sister kept me company.
One day at the crack of dawn, as we were walking, we heard someone sing in a morning rAgA. It melted my heart. When I listened intently, it sounded like a tiruvAimozhi verse. On my listening for a minute more, it sounded clear as a bell and sounded like a familiar voice--that of Bharathi. I asked my father what he thought.
My father said, ''Let's find him."
We walked in the direction from which the voice came. We saw Bharathi, seated on a kaTTumaram (boat). He was wearing a black top and a vEshTi. He was facing the sun with joined hands. It wasn't light yet. The song sounded majestic. The beautiful rAgam and the meaning of the words gave me goose bumps. It seemed like a divine vision. I was filled with joy.
Sri Sri: Bharathi, what are you doing here?
Bharathi: Is that Anna? Why are you and the children here so early in the morning?
Sri Sri: The doctor said that it was good for Yadugiri's health to walk for an hour every morning. Yadugiri thought she heard your voice and when we came closer, we realized that it was you, after all!
Bharathi: I came here last night. I was flying in the world of my imagination. I woke up and realized that I was on the beach. Such a pleasant hour, this. I was lost in the inspiring verses of the tiruvAimozhi, and you called!
Sri Sri (in a rather irritated voice): Some world of imagination! Do you realize how worried they'd be at home! Is it fair? What are you doing here at this hour?
Bharathi: (with his head bent): It was unbearably hot last night. The beach and the world of imagination were beckoning. Did Chellamma come to your house and ask about me? Am I a child?
My father got Bharathi down from the boat, and like a dear brother would, put his arms around him in a hug. He told me and my sister to keep walking and said that he would soon join us. He started talking to Bharathi in English. Bharathi did not answer but tears fell freely from his eyes. I can never forget that scene. We walked to Bharathi's house now. Chellamma was standing at the door. Thangamma and Sakunthala were asleep. Chellamma did not ask Bharathi where he had been. Seeing my father, with her head down, she went into the house. I woke the children up and then we went home.
My sister Ranganayaki questioned my father: Why did Bharathi cry like that? The tears wouldn't stop!
Sri Sri: Perhaps some sand got into his eyes.
Yadugiri: Bharathi wasn't home all night and yet Chellamma didn't say a word! Why?
Sri Sri: No, I don't think it's something new. Who knows where all he roams at night? The beach, the groves, by the pond...
Yadugiri: AiyyA! He doesn't look the same. I've been observing him ever since I came to Puduvai. Things seem so different when I go to see them now.
Sri Sri: Please don't ask Bharathi or Chellamma about it. It may upset them.
Iyer came home that evening and I told him about the incident at the beach.
Iyer: Did Bharathi recognize your father as soon as he called him?
Yadugiri: Yes, he did and he was surprised to see us so early in the morning. I don't know what's ailing him. AiyyA didn't say much. It's all puzzling to me. Chellamma looks grief-stricken. At least, you can tell me what this is all about.
Iyer: Yadugiri, when something new captures his imagination, Bharathi doesn't stop to think if it's right for him or not. I have appealed to him many times. He just keeps going. I don't know where it's all going to lead him.Trouble at home, too. A woman in our country can somehow manage to cope with problems when it's about children and others at home, but not with a husband. I don't think there is an easy solution for the problems. If a husband behaves justly and adheres to his duties, there won't be any trouble at all. If he doesn't, there will be no cheer--just tears and upheavals. Their home becomes a prison. The woman cannot give up her children--nor can she leave her husband. Troubles multiply and the husband, forgetting the problems at hand and forgetting even his own stature and his greatness, finds solace in hallucinating substances--just for those fleeting moments of pleasure--and starts living in an ivory tower. As the effect of the stimulant wears away, he is spent as a rag and his health deteriorates. If you stop a stupid man from going to the liquor shop, he would get annoyed with you and say, 'who are you to stop me? I'm drinking, spending my own money'. Yet, It's possible to restrain that fool for a while. It's impossible to do that with an enlightened man who is weak and is weak-willed. The one who tries to stop him ends up being the fool. We are all helpless. All that we can do is rue over it.
Yadugiri: The udaya (dawn) rAgam which he sang was divine.
Iyer: Bharathi's voice sounds like bell metal. Early morning, the birds singing, the sound of the waves and his majestic singing! I can imagine how it would have felt.
His association with a few sAmiArs and paNDArams is leading him to all this. A man who has control over his mind is a strong man. The one who follows the manakkurangu (a mind like that of a monkey) goes any which way, doing things as that quirky mind of his dictates. It isn't a good thing for him, and surely, not for his family!
Iyer sighed. His heart was heavy. What he said agitated me. I felt very sad.
* * * * *
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