17-dEvar varugavenRu
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by arasi »
SEVENTEEN
dEvar varugavenRu
(Welcoming the Celestials)
After a family wedding in Bangalore, I went back to Mysore to my in-laws. Four months later, my grandmother took me to Chennai. My mother went to Puduvai soon after. She took with her the two silver images of Krishna I had brought for Sakunthala and Subhadra (Iyer's daughter). I heard that Sakunthala played with her Krishna all day long, bathed him and sang to him at bed time. Bhayalakshmi Ammal put Subhadra's Krishna in a box lined with red silk and put it in her pUjA nook.
My friend Meena and I had been corresponding regularly. In one of her letters, she had said that Sakunthala had lost her Krishna and that very same day, she got high fever. "She is still very ill. Bharathi asked me to write to you to ask you if you could send another one for her. Please do, without fail." I sent another idol of Krishna through my mother.
In naLa varusham, in the month of aippasi, I went to Puduvai. Sakunthala was well now.
Iyer and Bharathi came to see me. I had heard that Bharathi was not his cheerful old self. My mother used to say: BharathiAr is always surrounded by people. It's because of his greatness as a poet.
It was not so now. It would have taken Bharathi some time to get used to the absence of his admiring crowd, I thought.
I was not that well myself. I could not go out freely as I used to. Still, after a few days, I went to Bharathi's house with my baby. He had just broken his vow of silence.
The baby was playing on the mat. Bharathi was very happy to see the way it was kicking its legs and gurgling. He was thrilled to see its play that he sang 'chinnanjiru kiLiyE kaNNammA' to it.
He said, "Look, Chellamma! The baby is playing divinely! "
Chellamma: Yadugiri, he hasn't seen a baby play in a long while. That's why he's so excited!
Bharathi: When a child plays happily, we are so happy. If it gets sick, we cannot bear it!
Chellamma: Yadugiri, I'm scared even now, to think of what we went through last year! This man who tells us forever to be brave, was squirming like a worm in grief. AmbAL saved Sakunthala. Even though he sang out most of the time, he couldn't calm down.
Bharathi: Chellmma spouts all this about me. You should have seen her! She wouldn't stay in a place for a moment, She would go about the place with a long face. "God, give me the fever and spare the child!," she would keep mumbling. I had to take care of her along with the child!
Chellamma: As if he did! He wouldn't let me go near her without my washing my hands in that horrible-smelling medicine! Whatever I touched, reeked of that stuff!I If I refused, he would fight with me. The child kept calling out 'Chellamma, Chellamma!'. I got fed up with his fussing. It's all like a nightmare now, when I think about it.
Bharathi: How would the germs die if we don't wash our hands? The doctor had warned us about it a hundred times. It was a dangerous kind of fever!
Chellamma: She suffered that burning fever, and the second week, he stuck the thermometer into her mouth and saw that she had very high fever. He shook it to check the temperature again, but it fell and broke because he was afraid and his hand was shaking! What could I do? I sent the servant maid to fetch the doctor. He said, "We have to wait until tomorrow to see how she does. Don't worry, though."
He gave her an injection. "I shouldn't have given you that thermometer," he added.
The child didn't seem conscious. She didn't utter a word, but we could see that she was suffering. I sat by her side without moving. Bharathi was wailing. "PApA!, I thought you were going to orate in big gatherings! That you would be a scholar! You can't even utter a word now!" He hit his head against the wall. I had to console him. All night, he kept crying out: Sakti, Sakti!
The fever came down the next morning. We had no money. How could we put up with all this?
Bharathi: Truly, those two months were hell. When Thangamma had the pneumonia, it wasn't that bad. Nanjunda Rao (in Chennai) looked after her as his own daughter. Swarnam (?) was there.
Chellamma: Appadurai (Chellmma's brother--publisher) was also there. You didn't have to be around. You were happy, being with your friends at work. Who's there for us here, though?
Yadugiri: Meena had written to me about Sakunthala. My father had written later that she was feeling much better.
BharathiyArE! How many new songs have you written?
Chellamma: Nowadays, it's all about the stupid vow of silence. More of those than verses! Yadugiri, I can't bear it. He used to sing or speak all the time. Now, it's all silence. He only communicates with signs and by writing things down. What weirdness is this!
Bharathi: Chellamma, you try to be silent too. There is happiness in it.
Chellamma: Yes, It's happiness I'm seeking! Who's to take care of the milkwoman, oil woman and the rest? I don't know which worthless (Chellamma uses the expression--maNNAIp pOgiRa=one who turns to dust) fellow led him to this!
Bharathi: No one had to. I tried it one day and it was bliss. So, I'm continuing it. If I do not utter a word for three days in a week, my writing flows unimpeded. Then, SvadESa mitran sends us the money regularly. Does it bother you?
Chellamma: The rainy season is here. The tiles on the roof are broken. The owner of the house has said that we have to get the roof repaired ourselves. ANNiammA told me that the house at the end of the street, a two-storied one, is vacant and the rent is reasonable. The owner had come to see us yesterday. Bharathi was observing silence. So, I had to tell him that Bharathi would see him in his house tomorrow. SAmiArs and paNDArams can indulge in vows of silence, not a householder! Where is it written that you can't write unless you observe silence? Everything at home comes to a standstill when he does this. I've gone through all kinds of drama with him. This is one of them! I don't know how many more I have to endure!
Bharathi: Chellamma, You don't have to go that far! You sound so bitter. I've spoken to the man and we are moving there on the next auspicious day. I will observe silence only for a few days in a month. How about that? Yadugiri, I do this because I want to find a new word in Tamizh, an equivalent for the word Aum.
Bharathi then sang dEvar varugavenRu.He also gave me copies of some other verses. Saktikku Atma samarppaNam, jayamuNDu bayamillai manamE, iyaRkai enRunai uraippAr, ulagattu nAyagiyE engaL muttumAri, kAlamAm vanattil, pozhudu pularndadu, manamEvu tiruvE and a part of kuyil pATTu were all there. I took them home with me.
* * * * *
dEvar varugavenRu
(Welcoming the Celestials)
After a family wedding in Bangalore, I went back to Mysore to my in-laws. Four months later, my grandmother took me to Chennai. My mother went to Puduvai soon after. She took with her the two silver images of Krishna I had brought for Sakunthala and Subhadra (Iyer's daughter). I heard that Sakunthala played with her Krishna all day long, bathed him and sang to him at bed time. Bhayalakshmi Ammal put Subhadra's Krishna in a box lined with red silk and put it in her pUjA nook.
My friend Meena and I had been corresponding regularly. In one of her letters, she had said that Sakunthala had lost her Krishna and that very same day, she got high fever. "She is still very ill. Bharathi asked me to write to you to ask you if you could send another one for her. Please do, without fail." I sent another idol of Krishna through my mother.
In naLa varusham, in the month of aippasi, I went to Puduvai. Sakunthala was well now.
Iyer and Bharathi came to see me. I had heard that Bharathi was not his cheerful old self. My mother used to say: BharathiAr is always surrounded by people. It's because of his greatness as a poet.
It was not so now. It would have taken Bharathi some time to get used to the absence of his admiring crowd, I thought.
I was not that well myself. I could not go out freely as I used to. Still, after a few days, I went to Bharathi's house with my baby. He had just broken his vow of silence.
The baby was playing on the mat. Bharathi was very happy to see the way it was kicking its legs and gurgling. He was thrilled to see its play that he sang 'chinnanjiru kiLiyE kaNNammA' to it.
He said, "Look, Chellamma! The baby is playing divinely! "
Chellamma: Yadugiri, he hasn't seen a baby play in a long while. That's why he's so excited!
Bharathi: When a child plays happily, we are so happy. If it gets sick, we cannot bear it!
Chellamma: Yadugiri, I'm scared even now, to think of what we went through last year! This man who tells us forever to be brave, was squirming like a worm in grief. AmbAL saved Sakunthala. Even though he sang out most of the time, he couldn't calm down.
Bharathi: Chellmma spouts all this about me. You should have seen her! She wouldn't stay in a place for a moment, She would go about the place with a long face. "God, give me the fever and spare the child!," she would keep mumbling. I had to take care of her along with the child!
Chellamma: As if he did! He wouldn't let me go near her without my washing my hands in that horrible-smelling medicine! Whatever I touched, reeked of that stuff!I If I refused, he would fight with me. The child kept calling out 'Chellamma, Chellamma!'. I got fed up with his fussing. It's all like a nightmare now, when I think about it.
Bharathi: How would the germs die if we don't wash our hands? The doctor had warned us about it a hundred times. It was a dangerous kind of fever!
Chellamma: She suffered that burning fever, and the second week, he stuck the thermometer into her mouth and saw that she had very high fever. He shook it to check the temperature again, but it fell and broke because he was afraid and his hand was shaking! What could I do? I sent the servant maid to fetch the doctor. He said, "We have to wait until tomorrow to see how she does. Don't worry, though."
He gave her an injection. "I shouldn't have given you that thermometer," he added.
The child didn't seem conscious. She didn't utter a word, but we could see that she was suffering. I sat by her side without moving. Bharathi was wailing. "PApA!, I thought you were going to orate in big gatherings! That you would be a scholar! You can't even utter a word now!" He hit his head against the wall. I had to console him. All night, he kept crying out: Sakti, Sakti!
The fever came down the next morning. We had no money. How could we put up with all this?
Bharathi: Truly, those two months were hell. When Thangamma had the pneumonia, it wasn't that bad. Nanjunda Rao (in Chennai) looked after her as his own daughter. Swarnam (?) was there.
Chellamma: Appadurai (Chellmma's brother--publisher) was also there. You didn't have to be around. You were happy, being with your friends at work. Who's there for us here, though?
Yadugiri: Meena had written to me about Sakunthala. My father had written later that she was feeling much better.
BharathiyArE! How many new songs have you written?
Chellamma: Nowadays, it's all about the stupid vow of silence. More of those than verses! Yadugiri, I can't bear it. He used to sing or speak all the time. Now, it's all silence. He only communicates with signs and by writing things down. What weirdness is this!
Bharathi: Chellamma, you try to be silent too. There is happiness in it.
Chellamma: Yes, It's happiness I'm seeking! Who's to take care of the milkwoman, oil woman and the rest? I don't know which worthless (Chellamma uses the expression--maNNAIp pOgiRa=one who turns to dust) fellow led him to this!
Bharathi: No one had to. I tried it one day and it was bliss. So, I'm continuing it. If I do not utter a word for three days in a week, my writing flows unimpeded. Then, SvadESa mitran sends us the money regularly. Does it bother you?
Chellamma: The rainy season is here. The tiles on the roof are broken. The owner of the house has said that we have to get the roof repaired ourselves. ANNiammA told me that the house at the end of the street, a two-storied one, is vacant and the rent is reasonable. The owner had come to see us yesterday. Bharathi was observing silence. So, I had to tell him that Bharathi would see him in his house tomorrow. SAmiArs and paNDArams can indulge in vows of silence, not a householder! Where is it written that you can't write unless you observe silence? Everything at home comes to a standstill when he does this. I've gone through all kinds of drama with him. This is one of them! I don't know how many more I have to endure!
Bharathi: Chellamma, You don't have to go that far! You sound so bitter. I've spoken to the man and we are moving there on the next auspicious day. I will observe silence only for a few days in a month. How about that? Yadugiri, I do this because I want to find a new word in Tamizh, an equivalent for the word Aum.
Bharathi then sang dEvar varugavenRu.He also gave me copies of some other verses. Saktikku Atma samarppaNam, jayamuNDu bayamillai manamE, iyaRkai enRunai uraippAr, ulagattu nAyagiyE engaL muttumAri, kAlamAm vanattil, pozhudu pularndadu, manamEvu tiruvE and a part of kuyil pATTu were all there. I took them home with me.
* * * * *
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